I’m Going to Take a ‘Lil Break… and My 2 Winners!
It was really close but we have our 2 winners.
Before I announce them, I just wanted to say THANK YOU again for placing value on these posts by reading them and occasionally engaging with them in the comments section.
I’m going to take a little break from writing but I hope to continue a regular rhythm of blogging in a week’s time or so. Please stay tuned!
CONGRATULATIONS TO:
ABE PARK
and
ANNYONG BUNNY
You are winners of the iTunes (or Kindle) gift cards!
Please let me know which you would prefer in the field below and sign in with the email address to which you’d like the gift cards sent!
The End of 40 Days! A Best Of…
My pledge to blog everyday for 40 days has come to a close! I want to thank those of you who have checked in periodically to journey with me in my writing. I hope that it was as fun, interesting, and inspiring for you to read as it was for me to write!
I wanted to close this chapter by recapping the past few weeks with links to some of my favorite posts (based on your responses as well as my personal enjoyment in writing them!)
Today also marks the end of the iTunes Card giveaway contest. I will announce the 2 winners tomorrow!
Here are the best of the last 40 days in no particular order:
My American Idol (Guessed) Rankings
A Letter to Charlie Sheen from the future
The most read post out of all of them? It was the one about the UCLA Racist girl. Apparently racism and regrettable youtube videos make for interesting reads!
So I would like to know, which was your favorite? Any thoughts on future topics I should attempt to address?
To Young Fathers (Part II)
[This is Part II of my post from yesterday]
Before we continue on, let me just acknowledge that today is Good Friday. I hope your day is filled with beautiful reflection as you contemplate on the horrible suffering endured by the most innocent man that ever lived.
Thanks for reading on! Here we go:
5. Your Kids Need You More than They Need Your Money
This is a lesson that I’ve seen play out in real life countless times as well as in Adam Sandler’s Click. Your kids don’t need you to become another tired cliche of a dad who works his butt off and in the process misses his kids’ ball games and birthdays, bypasses holidays and stays out late, etc. all in the name of providing for his family. Yes, we need to provide for our families (and let’s do it!) but I think it’s crucial to make a decision early on: are you going to be that dad, or THAT dad? As much as your kids beg you for the latest gaming console and you’ll work to get it for them, they’ll remember and appreciate you for your presence, not your presents. You like that? I think I stole that from some anti-materialism Christmas campaign.
6. Don’t Let Your Kid Get Away with Acting the Fool… Starting NOW
Homie don’t play that! I feel like my wife is super good at this and I am constantly learning from her. You’re tired, you’re out with friends and your kid decides to be a major punk in public and has no problem testing you. You have 2 options which is to 1) Ignore the little fart and continue to have a good time or 2) Teach the kid what it means when daddy shoots a cold, angry stare and says “I will END you.” As you giggle or gasp at option 2, let me just say I have never said this so relax. I’d say the real option 2 is to take that kid aside, explain to them why their behavior is upsetting and proceed with whatever disciplinary act works best for him/her. Time out is our method of choice and we will use it when necessary. Basically, I’m saying don’t let things slide. Fight for your child’s behavior now and reap the benefits later . . . until teenage angst ruins all your hard work and you have to start all over anyway… sigh.
7. Know that Your Kid Has Feelings and Understands Way More than You Think
We don’t give kids enough credit. We sometimes assume that they’re just blobs of adorable goo. What I’m learning very quickly is that they are actually geniuses in tiny bodies filled with poop. Especially as my son has been taking full advantage of his growing abilities as a 2 year old, I’m shocked to learn that he understands about 95% of the things I say to him and actually has reasons for many of his tantrums and outbursts. I’m finding that when you understand and acknowledge his feelings he responds better to correction and special requests. This is crazy to me but it’s true! You gotta use your discretion with this but it helps to make compromises with your kid based on what’s really setting them off. Is he upset because he wants to take the entire train set to aunty’s? Calm him down, let him know you understand they want to do this but explain that there’s not enough space in the bag. Suggest he takes 2 train pieces instead. This works more often than not. Huge!
8. This is the Greatest Job, Role, Responsibility and Privilege You Will Ever Have
Don’t get it twisted! Being a GREAT dad is your life’s calling. It doesn’t matter what else you accomplish or pursue in life– pursue excellence in fatherhood. I personally feel that I could reach for and grab all that the world has for me but if my relationships with my children suck, I have failed miserably. Let’s embrace this role fully and consider it a sacred task. Let’s not repeat the cycle of father wounds and raise a generation of kids who had amazing dads. The world needs good fathers. Hope you’re up for the challenge.
9. Stay in the Game, Finish Well
I don’t think any man starts off fatherhood thinking, “I’m going to be delinquent, abusive, un-understanding, distant, and unaffirming.” Peek into any delivery room and if the dad is present, you’ll see him gazing into his newborn’s eyes, promising the world to her, promising he’ll be there to protect her and love her the best he can. Then life happens, stress takes over, deadlines, indiscretions, divorce, heart-ache, alcohol, bad decisions, good intentions and suddenly, the promises you made in the hospital that first day seem all but broken and destroyed.
Maybe you’re not a young dad and you’re reading this. Maybe you have failed to live up to your promises to your children. I have not lived the life that you lived but something tells me that you can still make things work and you can finish well. Maybe the middle part of your story up until now has not panned out the way you had hoped. You can finish well.
To everyone else: young, old, married, unmarried, with kids, without kids — this is a call for us to rise up and embrace our role as parents in the present and in the future.
I’m excited for the legacy and trend that we can help establish for the near future.
Are you?
To Young Fathers (Part I)
To all young as well as future fathers, this post is for you.
We have a 2.5 year old boy and we’re expecting our first daughter in the next 4 weeks. I am far from being a perfect parent but I have definitely been learning a whole lot over the past couple years. Hope you find this insightful and helpful!
Here is the first half of some things to remember as you approach fatherhood (more later):
1. Your Wife is still Numero Uno
I say this because that fact should remain true throughout your marriage– your wife is priority #1. Some wise friends have warned me that it’s often easy for young couples to lose touch with each other in their first couple years of parenthood. I totally get it now that I have my own kid. It is a whirlwind of change, adjustment, responsibility, and fatigue. Stay in the game, stay focused and make sure that you give it that extra push to love your wife– even when she may be too caught up with baby to love you the way you need to be loved. Which brings me to my next learning…
2. You Don’t Need to Be a Baby, too
It’s easy to complain and feel left out when so much attention is going to your kids. Maybe your wife used to stroke your hair and massage your toes after a long day . . . on the golf course. Maybe she used to brew homemade beer for you and cook you steak every night. Maybe you don’t get any of that anymore because junior is pooping every 5 minutes, requires an exorbitant amount of “organic” milk from mom, and cries for seemingly no reason at the most inopportune times. Well, as a new dad and forever husband your plate is full as well with two roles. You gotta work together with your wife to raise this child and not take on a third role: Big Baby. If there’s anything that the arrival of a child signals in your life, it’s that it is finally time to grow up and start weaning yourself off that big bottle of selfishness.
3. You Are a Student Again
Don’t be a fool and think you’ve figured fatherhood out just because you can change a diaper without your wife’s assistance. You still probably use half a box of baby wipes to do it, rookie. You’re gonna be learning how to be a dad for the rest of your life. I just recently was assigned a reading “assignment” from my wife to learn how to deal with our 2 year-old’s ever-increasing array of tantrums and needs. My initial reaction was “Pshhh! I don’t need to read this! I can figure it out as I go and let my instincts kick in! YOU read it, woman!” which I said to myself in convenient internal monologue form. As I swallowed my pride and let go of my disdain for anything resembling an education, I found the book to be extremely enlightening and it has helped me make incredible in my parenting. Just ask my wife! I am trying to be a good student.
4. Some Things Need to Give
I’m a naturally low-maintenance guy so I don’t have too many strong preferences, which is often a good thing when raising a child. If you’re the type of guy that likes to control and you have an opinion on everything from which brand of diapers you should use to why Yo Gabba Gabba is better than The Wiggles, you may run into a few unnecessary fights with your wife. Let go of your need for control and let your wife take the lead on some of this stuff. Trust me, your manhood will not shrink.
[to be continued tomorrow]
Any thoughts so far?
I Love Sports . . . but not THIS much
I think fanaticism is great. Everyone needs a healthy obsession to get more out of life.
Those who know me best know that I’m one of the biggest Laker fans out there.
My buddy always reminds me of the time we were watching an intense tape-recorded game (pre-DVR era) in our dorm room our freshman year in school. He had fallen asleep only to be woken up in the 4th quarter to the sound of hollering and rousing applause which is otherwise normal when sports is involved—if it wasn’t for the fact that I was the only other person in the room and the standing ovation was from me. Just me.
Several years later when the Lakers lost game 4 of the 2008 NBA Finals against the Celtics after blowing a 24 point lead, I literally went on a rampage. I stormed out of our apartment and started punching the walls and screaming into the air while attempting to suppress my anger the best I could by biting my fists. With shame I admit that I lost my salvation for a good 30 minutes that night and my wife was horrified. God bless her soul.
Over the years, my wife has played a big part in toning my fanaticism down, possibly for the better. Now that I have a baby boy whose nap and sleeping schedules run through Laker games, I have gotten really good at screaming into pillows and silent fist-pumping to suppress my frustration and joy respectively.
So this brings me to the sad story of Bryan Stow.
Bryan is currently in a medically induced coma after suffering a brutal attack at the hands of some idiots who didn’t agree with his choice of garb. This was not a gang fight though it sounds like one. Bryan is a San Francisco Giants fan and he thought he would show his support for the team by wearing a Giants jersey . . . to Dodger Stadium. This sounds like a bad idea but people do it all the time and when others say “You’d better watch your back! You got a lotta nerve wearing that here!” it’s normally done in good humor.
Bryan was attacked after the game at Dodger Stadium and now his children are on the verge of losing their father. It is senseless and tragic.
I love basketball but not this much.
It’s scary to think that things like this take place almost every day. Think of all the horrible things that are done to other human beings in the name of defending a flag, a set of values, or whatever it is that we choose to place our allegiance or trust in.
As much as we want to identify with Bryan Stow in this story, the lesson is not “be careful what you wear to the ball park.” It is rather, “beware of the outcome of your fanaticism.”
Think about your obsessions and consider whether or not one or more of these cause more harm than good… to you and those around you. It might be time to make some changes.
The Dodger fans who beat Bryan Stow might have benefited from a good, serious confrontation from one of their loved ones when they punched their HD TV after every loss. (I admit that this is a major assumption on my end but maybe not a very far-fetched one)
It’s often painful for me to suppress my emotions during Laker games but for the sake of my marriage, I’ll take the emotional constipation.
Could I Be a Lead Singer in a Rock Band? and how to fight racism. (Music Monday)
**Remember my iTunes giveaway contest ends a week from today!**
Our world has made great strides in regards to race issues but as you may know, we still have a long ways to go.
I saw a funny youtube post in which the guy mentions jokingly that intermarriage is a good way to combat racism since there’s no clear way to be racist toward a person of mixed heritage. Pretty funny but I also think there’s something there. Hmmm… intermarriage, huh? Makes me think of another word along that same vein: Integration.
Integration.
I believe that one of the most powerful yet untapped race-uniting forces in the world is the medium of music.
When I look at the musical landscape in a country like the States, I see a vast ocean of talent (and lucky wannabes with the right connections) who are influencing the next generation with their lyrics and style.
Though there have been exceptions over the years, one really important piece is missing: Integration.
Integration.
When was the last time you saw a rock band comprised of dudes from different ethnic backgrounds? You usually have a frontman with really cool hair and edgy tattoos, along with a melancholy bassist, an eccentric electric guitarist, and an easily-excitable drummer . . . all of whom are usually white.
If we were still in the 60s, diversity would be a lot to ask for. But were in 2011 now.
Hip hop? With the exception of Eminem, this is a genre of music that is dominated by our African American brothers.
Again, I know there are more exceptions but I mention those two genres because they are a couple of my favorites and I want to make a point.
We can’t have ethnic enclaves within music. Not if we want to move forward.
To my Asian folk, I’m seeing that you’re talented. Really talented. But set the bar higher and stop just performing for each other. Maybe you do this because 1) you’re scared that you won’t make it into the mainstream so 2) you settle into what’s comfortable and 3) never explore the greater world outside. You are committing musical incest.
I’m proud of Far East Movement for proving to the world that a bunch of Asians can bust out into the music scene. However, I think there’s a lot more work to be done. I don’t believe it’s enough to say “See! We’re awesome too!” The question is, can you work under diversity and produce something great? I believe this is the goal for any artist seeking to bring about a greater sense of unity across cultures.
If I were to start a band, I would be intentional about working with a variety of people of different backgrounds. This is different from affirmative action. This is me believing that I would be able to find the best people for my band outside (but not excluding) my own culture.
Imagine what our world would be like if a few bands with a global following similar to the likes of U2 and Coldplay would rise up, comprised of an Asian lead singer (because this is my dream and I would gladly take this role), a Black bassist, a Hispanic drummer, and a White electric guitarist (or any combination)? Our world would be a different place.
As crazy as it sounds, I believe that we could achieve greater inter-racial harmony through musical representation in this manner. What if the Beatles were a diverse band of brothers?
Check this video out. I thought it was really well done and illustrates an aspect of what I’m trying to convey.
As with most things I write about, more on this later.
Am I the only one who thinks this is important? Or that it’s even possible?
Throw a Party. A Prayer Party.
My brother and hero Dave Gibbons is in town with a group of amazing men who have devoted their lives to making a difference in this world.
We spent our first night together pigging out to some tacos, churros, and hot chocolate.
We then spent time sharing our stories and listening to each other in our cafe.
We ended the night with a party. A prayer party.
That is correct, son! We were gettin’ down and dirty, wet and wild, boogeyin’ to the groovy beats of … love-rooted prayer for one another.
I’m not a religious person and I wouldn’t speak of such things if it was just a bunch of fluff . . . but this was good. It was a blast. It was warm. It was life-changing. It was real.
Don’t know how much you get to pray but I have a feeling your life would be different if you found a group of friends that you could do this with some day. . . and do it regularly. . . wherever you go.
I think preaching and singing can get sort of weird outside of the right context.
But prayer? Ain’t nothing wrong with prayer. Let’s face it! We could all use a little more prayer in our lives.
So how ’bout you host a Prayer Party the next time you want an excuse to get together with friends? Surround that time with good food, music and some booze if you had a rough week . . . but take turns laying hands on each other and praying with insight before you call it a night.
Trust me. You’ll be glad you did!
Let’s have a prayer party right HERE. How can this blog community pray for you? Anything goes as long as you’re comfortable sharing it!
Instant Gratification… so sexy
What’s the worst exchange you’ve ever made with someone?
I once traded a Fleer Ultra Shaquille O’Neal rookie card . . .
for a pack of pogs.
This has got to be one of the worst trades ever made by a middle-schooler in the history of the world. Shaq will go down as one of the greatest basketball players that ever lived. His rookie card will be worth thousands, possibly millions one day!
The pogs. A very short-lived fad at the time, are now virtually worthless. I probably threw them away a few months after making this trade.
We do regretful things like this all the time in the name of following what is hot for the moment. Some may call this the flavor of the week, or a trend, but it is more accurately described as instant gratification.
I want it now. I need it now.
Instant gratification and foresight are mortal enemies. It’s also on really bad terms with common sense, patience, discipline, and perspective.
Its buddies however, are selfishness, destruction, deception, and regretful weight gain.
The way to neutralize and even combat instant gratification? Let’s try delayed gratification.
The delay buys you some time to think and saves you from potential heartbreak, loss of money, love handles, an extra-marital affair, or the regret of springing for the iPad 2 when you could have waited for the iPad 3 when it comes out with retina display and 50 more cool points.
Instant seems sexy right now but it probably doesn’t age well. Delayed keeps it cool in the corner and hopes you’ll join him as he gets better with time. Like fine wine, baby.
Seriously, where’s the harm in waiting every once in a while? Let’s try it . . .
Have you ever been lured by the charms of Instant Gratification? Did you come out a winner or are you still dealing with the repercussions?
On Judging
Who made you judge over me?
Let’s get girly and quote Sara Bareilles: “Who died and made you king of anything?”
Or better yet, Tupac: “Only God can judge me.” That one’s actually Biblical.
I don’t think any of us like being judged. In fact, very few things upset us more than when we are or feel judged.
So why is it that we are all so good at judging others? Seriously, we’re all pretty talented in that arena. Let’s give ourselves a hand!
Obviously I’m not talking about the kind of judgment that’s laid down by people like Judy, Mathis, or the People’s Court. I’m talking about that thing we do when we write people off, dismiss and discredit their very being because of our lack of compassion or willingness to understand their transgression or circumstance.
We might be really good about being open-minded and non-judgmental in one regard but in other areas, especially the ones that we excel at or feel blameless in, we are pretty quick about reaching certain conclusions.
It’s also funny because we will also judge things that we know very little to nothing about! What is that?
Like before I had kids, I used to judge parents who were super strict about their kids’ sleeping schedules and I thought that they were letting their children run their lives. “Live a little!” I used to think. I knew nothing about their world and yet I judged it. I’m on the other side of that coin now and I understand... and now I’m the one that’s probably getting judged. Painful!
So here’s the thing: if we judge things within our area of expertise and we also judge things or circumstances we know very little about, this means that we are judging all the time. This is just stupid.
I’ll be honest. I’m pretty judgmental toward judgmental people. Also: people who don’t line waste baskets with bags before throwing their crap in… but more often than not I judge judgmental people.
I think, “why are they so judgmental? What makes them so superior in their minds? What losers! Arrgghh!”
And then I’m reminded that I’m no better.
That’s the point. I’m no better, you’re no better. Nobody is perfect. Nobody is perfect.
What would happen if we were more predisposed to dishing out grace, understanding, and good ol’ fashioned “benefit of the doubt” to people and situations we are tempted to judge and dismiss?
When was the last time you felt judged? How has that affected you? What do you tend to be judgmental about?
Putting Heaven on Hold
There was snow in Orange County, CA this past weekend which, on one hand, is amazing– it’s a Christmas miracle in April! On the other hand, this tells us that we’re all going to die very, very soon. Snow in California in the middle of spring is NOT normal. The apocalypse is upon us! Hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wife and hide yo’ husband!
The weather is funkalicious all around the world, there is increasing political and civil unrest in the Middle East, the global economy is in the crapper, our government is brain-dead…. and our pets’ HEADS are falling off! Japan, Haiti, Charlie Sheen, wars, rumors of wars… did I mention the weather is funky? These are all tell-tale (prophetic) signs that our world is coming to an end. Our current hell on earth signals the need for and imminence of a place we all call heaven.
For those of us who believe there’s a heaven and with confidence believe we are going there upon death, this question may start looming now with any talk of the end of time: are you ready for heaven?
I believe the answer is supposed to be “YES! Of course! Time to go home and meet my maker!” but if we’re honest (and I’m being honest here) we are not ready to go.
The only people who are absolutely ready for heaven are those who are in some form of deep pain, suffering, and/or loneliness.
The rest of us are not ready to go because frankly, we have too much to lose. Career, car, HD TV, iPad, trophy wife, dream guy, degree . . . and the list goes on.
Isn’t that crazy? Is this what we are putting heaven on hold for?
Hold on a minute though. Before you go on feeling really bad about everything, let me put on the brakes and propose this:
Maybe we are not ready to go to heaven because we’re supposed to try and bring heaven to earth right now.
Not in a weird cult-ish way.
In a real and loving way. In simple as well as in large, audacious ways. In the form of beauty and goodness. With generosity and kindness. With radical sacrifice and selflessness.
I think since the beginning of time, hell has existed on earth in the form of evil and tragedy in order to see what man-kind would do to counter it. Instead of bringing elements of heaven to battle the darkness, man has continuously wasted time by pursuing his personal heaven on earth (gotta get mine, baby!) while blaming God for being lazy, malevolent, impotent and/or non-existent with the world’s most terrible issues.
Maybe God wants us to sort through the mess and pursue heaven on earth instead of complaining or keeping ourselves busy and distracted with non-celestial substitutes. Think Lakers coach Phil Jackson — we all want him to call a time-out but he’s thinking big picture so he lets his team play it through and get it right.
There is no time-out in life. We each get one shot to make it right and as much as we tend and want to view heaven, earth and hell trichotomously, they have a way with squeezing into the same room together. If they are indeed in the same room, who do we give the microphone to?
Enough analogies for today. This is a straight-up topic.
Earth carries the potential for heaven or hell. While we are alive, we can put heaven on hold or unleash its beauty and practice for the real thing right now.
We are not ready for heaven because we have work left to do.
Are you ready?
My American Idol Guesses (Music Monday)
Before you read this post, you must take into consideration the following bit of critical detail: I have not seen a single episode of this season’s American Idol.
So that explains why I can’t even call this a predictions or rankings post. I know nothing about the contestants except that apparently some girl named PIA was ousted last week and no one seemed to be happy about it.
Whether you’ve kept up with the show each week like a true fanatic or you’re like me and haven’t seen a single tick, this post is for you!
Consider this my answer to the March Madness craziness that takes place every year when un-knowledgeable wannabe-fans fill out brackets using incredibly unorthodox (and sometimes dumb) methods such as best uniform color/design, coolest mascot, and cute star players (not my method at all) to make their selections.
These are the unorthodox methods I’ll be using to make my “predictions” for American Idol: 1) Profile Picture, 2) Name, 3) and other arbitrary assumptions and observations I choose to make based on the nothing to very little I know about the contestants. If you’re scared that this post is going to be lame, inappropriate or slightly mean . . . no need to fear. Everything’s gonna be alright. Let’s have some fun! You ready??
Without further ado, these are my American Idol Guesses going from last to first:
On Humility
Humility often means that you agree with those who think the world of you.
That’s right. When someone thinks you’re awesome or you are great at something, you can be humble and agree with them.
“Hey man, you’re a pretty sick air hockey player.”
“Oh thanks. What can I say? That is a talent I do possess!”
But for some, our first instinct is to deflect, avoid and karate chop anything positive that comes our way because if we accept it too readily then we may come across as arrogant… or so we think. [Side note: One of the few perks of being an Asian person is that you can make martial arts references in your writing without worrying about a public outcry. I'm sorry but I'm going to take advantage of whatever "perks" I can get, homies. Hi-YAHHH!]
I don’t assume I have this humility thing down but the little I know about it tells me that my pain and inner mess is a big part of the equation. Anytime I begin to think that I’m hot stuff (in a bad way), all I have to do is remember that deep down, I’m a mess. The good news is that the process doesn’t end there. Yes, I’m a mess but this brokenness provides me the opportunity to get to know the real me and then get over myself (in a good way).
A person who takes compliments well is a person who is over his/her own hype or lack there-of.
“Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself than of other people, nor does it mean having a low opinion of your own gifts. It means freedom from thinking about yourself at all.” ~William Temple
So may we be free of preoccupation with self (positive and negative) while at the same time, being able to accept the words of truth that others offer us when they recognize the beauty we contribute to the world. . . one air hockey goal at a time.
Do you struggle with humility? Have you thought about it in these terms before?
This is Not a Christian Blog
This is not a Christian blog.
I think it would be very easy to gear and fashion my posts to fit this mold, but I don’t think we need another “Christian” blog. There’s enough good ones out there anyway!
Some may find this disappointing, especially when you know that I am technically a “missionary” in Mexico City and recall that I was a worship pastor at a pretty amazing church.
If you have been reading my blog and you never knew this, I hope this revelation isn’t shocking or detrimental to our online relationship. Stick around, please! I have more to share. I love you. I need you! You complete me.
I think there are many amazing blogs out there that are more blatantly “Christian” but I just don’t feel like that’s my “calling” as a blogger… or as a person. Call it a conviction?
I’m also sure that there are a lot of great blogs out there written by atheists, agnostics, Jews, Muslims, Hindus and people who are far-removed from any sort of faith background. As for me, I can’t deny or hide the fact that I’m pretty heavily influenced by Jesus. He’s my homie, He’s changed my life.
This blog is neither Christian nor atheist. I write about things that matter to me and hopefully to the society at large. I just write and my values ooze out in the posts. Grace, redemption, love, freedom, justice, humor, and (at times righteous) anger. Christian is who I am, not the agenda I push or the blog I write. I don’t need to slap a label on anything or wear a banner that shows I belong to some sort of club or belief system.
I think it takes a bit of courage as well as discipline to venture out of one’s subculture to intersect with the world at large.
We could use a few more blogs (and people) who are willing to engage people from all walks of life. We need words of love, hope and inspiration to reach far outside of any bubble or barrier we unknowingly (or knowingly) create. This requires writers to choose our words carefully and avoid content and jargon that is merely understood by a few. Code language. Drop it.
This is a challenge that not enough people of faith are choosing to accept. They would rather say what’s “Biblical” without connecting with the world, get a few “amens” (perhaps in the form of a dozen comments) and call it a night. Easy if you ask me.
**It’s ok if you disagree because these are just my opinions, not facts… although I sometimes wish my words became facts. That would be freakin sweet.**
So all that to say, I relish the challenge of writing about things that matter culturally and spiritually, and I love trying to communicate in ways that invites anyone to participate and understand. I want to link the divide between pop-culture and faith, between atheism and “Christianity.” I want to challenge everyone to think deeper, to communicate clearer, to help make this world a better place and become fans of the Los Angeles Lakers. (last part optional)
So whether that’s Christian or not “Christian” enough is besides the point. Call this blog whatever you want! I’m thankful you read it and find it worthwhile.
Maybe you have something to say on this? What scenarios do you see some of these challenges at play in your own lives? And more importantly, do you agree or disagree with me? Because if you disagree with me, you are no longer welcome here… just kidding.
DKdanielkim.com is giving away iTunes and Kindle Gift Cards!!
**I am going to give away some iTunes music and apps, as well as iBooks or Kindle reads but you must read this thoroughly to find out how!**
Hi Friends,
First of all, I want to say thank you for those of you who have been following my blog, especially during the last few weeks! This giveaway is for you!
In lieu of a regular post today, I want to get a little bit serious and have a DK blog town hall with you. As you know, I have been on a tear recently with new daily blog posts that started on Ash Wednesday (the start of the Lent season) and I must be honest with you, it’s been challenging but incredibly fun and invigorating as well. I just might continue this trend (but a little more toned down) even after the 40 day period is over.
When I started this commitment to blog daily, I wanted to do it for me. I didn’t care who would read my posts or who wouldn’t, I just wanted to get my thoughts out there and dedicate myself to the discipline of writing.
This is half true.
As much as bloggers will say that they do it for themselves, they also hope that others would engage in their thoughts and contribute to the greater discussion that they want to facilitate through their posts.
Ever since I started the daily routine, my blog has been averaging around 110 daily hits with a spike of 2oo+. This is not a very impressive number for those of you who sell ads on your pages but considering I’m not famous, it’s not bad! Of the 110+ hits I receive daily, only about 2 of you decide to actually engage on the topic and leave a comment on my page. What this tells me is that this blog has its share of devoted readers (THANK YOU!) but very, very few choose to take it to another level and contribute. I’m not upset about this. . . I just want more of you!
Consider this my Stimulus (and Thank You) Plan:
Starting today with this VERY post, I will be holding a contest which will end on Monday, April 25 at 11:59 PM PT and 2 random winners will be announced the next day. How do you qualify? Very simple. Just react by leaving a note in the comments section whenever you feel compelled to or feel like it (Mon-Friday) after reading my post for the day.
“WHY RANDOM WINNERS?” Well, if there are 2 clear winners (meaning, 2 people who have left the most comments), the prizes will go to them. The prizes will be random in the event that there is a tie.
“DO MULTIPLE COMMENTS ON THE SAME BLOG COUNT?” While I really appreciate and welcome you helping me moderate the comments, only 1 “point” will be given per day.
“CAN I LEAVE A COMMENT EVERY DAY?” Sure! Although, I understand that sometimes you will have nothing to say or that occasionally a post will seem lame to you (we’re all entitled to our opinions!) so you don’t have to always force a comment out… but some others may do it anyway, and you’ll lose…
“WHAT ARE THE PRIZES?”
This is a blog on MUSIC, LEADERSHIP and CULTURE. That’s why the 2 winners will have their choice of an iTunes gift card (books, music, and apps!) OR a Kindle gift card. You must also know that although I wish I could spring for a much more lucrative amount, the prizes will be worth $15 each and they will be sent electronically since I am all the way here in Mexico City! The phrase “better than nothing!” really is appropriate here.
So what do you say? I think this is a pretty easy way to score some free music and books!
Oh, and by the way, consider today’s post an opportunity for you to “register” into this contest and receive 5 points. Yes, today’s comments are worth 5 points instead of the normal 1. Do it.
With Love,
DK
Dear Dad (a letter to Charlie Sheen from the future)
Dear Dad,
This is your son and I’m writing to you from the future using my iPad 27. You think the iPad 2 was cool, wait till you check this baby out; the hologram cornea display is a thing of beauty! They also finally added Flash to the browsing experience after holding out for all those decades. It’s pretty sweet, especially when I want to go retro and check out web sites. You should also know that it’s pretty much a foregone conclusion that Steve Jobs is in fact the anti-Christ… especially because he’s still alive.
I just want to say that despite what many have told me over the years, I still think you were a pretty swell dad. I know we never talked that much or saw each other as much as we would have liked to but I always looked up to you and you were always fun. You helped define what a winner is for me and I live by your words and example to this day.
I came across this feature article about you recently that was a retrospective on the year 2011. I have vague memories of that time… like how mom actually changed my diapers with her own hands before the iChange app changed everything for mothers everywhere. Anyhow, the article mentions that this was the year everything changed for you. I guess you got fired from a TV job that paid you $2 million per episode (funny how that was a lot of money back then!) and then you started this crazy country-wide, sold-out tour shortly after. This was not before you became one of the fastest twitter users to reach 3 million followers and the nation became obsessed with all things Charlie Sheen. You were a major star! So proud of you, dad!
The article also mentions that you were America’s favorite train wreck in 2011. What is that all about? Your “years of drug use and soliciting prostitutes caught up” to you, as well as the “many instances of violence and spousal abuse.” Apparently you were spinning out of control and the world was simply waiting for you to “crash and burn (or die?) so that they could move on to the next disaster in a body.”
Either I forgot about all of this or I just never knew. Totally crazy to think that you ever went through that or that you were ever that guy.
I don’t know what exactly happened but the article mentions that your life made a dramatic turn for the best in the next few years. I think this is when you made a conscious decision to lay low and stay out of the public spotlight for a while. Mom tells me that you received help by admitting to her you had a problem and enlisting in a variety of detox and counseling programs. Maybe this is when I started to see you around a little bit more along with the many new uncles that you started hanging with. They were super cool guys and I remember thinking that you seemed different (in good ways) after you met them.
I guess you were a mess back then but the only version of you I remember is the one that showed up at the moments that mattered to me– including my high school graduation when you told me you loved me and that you were proud of me. I know you were a busy guy and you had to spend time with my other brothers and sisters that lived in different cities with their moms but I saw that you were trying and I appreciated that a ton. I see now how rare a loving father is and I’m forever grateful that you were around when it counted.
I love what you stood for in your later years as an actor and activist. You were quite the motivational speaker and you helped “screw-ups” get back on their feet. You showed me that mistakes are ok as long as you work towards righting the wrongs. You showed me that second chances are precious but available to anyone who is wiling to give life another fair go.
Just wanted to write you to tell you I love you and that I miss you. Wish you were still around.
It’s crazy but I just met my first grand-kid the other day. His name is David Carlos Estevez and he has your eyes.
You’ll be proud to know that in the midst of my own hang-ups and let-downs, I think I turned out okay and I’m someone you’d probably call a “winner.” Thanks, dad.
Love,
Your son
3 Awesomely Bad Songs (Music Monday)
The last time I checked, “Friday” by Rebecca Black had over 81 millions hits on youtube. That is just insane. Never in the history of the world has something this bad, gotten so much attention. Actually, I take that back. Our society thrives on diverting all attention to all things bad (exhibit A: Charlie Sheen). However, when all is said and done, this song may indeed be the most famous awesomely bad song ever.
Notice I said that “Friday” could be the most famous awesomely bad song ever. This means that there are many, many other tunes out there that are not as well known but equally bad or far worse. Now I understand that “bad” is a rather relative term but I think we can agree every once in a while when something is truly horrendous. Here’s a few you may or may not have heard, and unfortunately, they are all songs that were written by people of a faith background:
The Breakfast Song
Of all the things that you could sing about in the “name of the Lord,” why breakfast? Someone please get the poor woman a cot because she needs a nap, like right NOW! These folks make heaven sound like a horrible place… no mo’ chicken? No mo’ Cap’n Crunch? No mo’ bacon? Sounds like hell to me! I’m hungry. Let’s eat breakfast!
Jesus is My Friend
As forum bulletin boards like this one will show, there is speculation behind the authenticity of this song and video. Either way, it is one of the most ridiculous songs I have ever heard and it is definitely worth a mention here. Lucky for these guys, Jesus loves everybody and is a friend to anybody who needs one… and I’m sure these guys needed friends.
Dogs of Glory
This is a great example of creativity gone wrong. The make-up is just a little too good and essentially takes this video from a G-rating to an “R” simply because of it’s immense fear factor. Dude looks freaky and the whole performance scares the bejeebus out of me (but Jesus is here to stay!). And just because you talk about God, Jesus and glory doesn’t necessarily mean your song has soul… this is unfortunate but true.
And finally: “HOWL-ELUJAH”?? Are you kidding me? “HOWL-ELUJAH”??? That unholy concoction of a word alone makes this the worst song of all time … at least for me.
What about you? Have any songs to add to the pot? Hope you’re having a great start to your week!
(NOTE: this is supposed to be a fun post. no offense to the writers of these songs and their relatives!)
My Heroes: Kobe Bryant and Bono. Michelle Kwan, not really.
I don’t get star-struck very often. This is probably because I rarely see a celebrity in person. One time I ran into Chuck Finley in San Francisco but seeing as how you’re going to need to Google him before you’re impressed, he doesn’t really count.
However, I must mention the time I ran into Michelle Kwan. This one counts. She’s a world-class figure skater and I think she’s won multiple gold-medals and such. She is arguably the most decorated figure skater in U.S. history and in her hey-day, she was one of the most debated girls to enter the “hot or not” conversation amongst teens. (I was above all that non-sense but if you were to ask me now, I would give you a resounding “no.” But I digress.)
I ran into Michelle Kwan late in my high school years at the local mall near my house. I was completely shocked to see her walking out of this obscure, unimpressive shopping center with her mom. I was by myself but I mustered enough courage to approach her and ask her this profound and probing question:
“Are you Michelle Kwan?”
To which she replied, “Yes.”
It’s really her! Wow! My first official celebrity encounter! Gotta keep this conversation going! What do we talk about?
I managed to offer a “huh, huh… Hey…” followed by a pathetic grin that apparently let Michelle know I was a complete and utter loser. She rolled her eyes ever so slightly, her mother wore a look of cliched amusement, and they both proceeded to walk right past me. I continued to face the same direction, trying to figure out what just happened. I guess I was star struck and it got the best of me.
I felt like such a fool. I hate Michelle Kwan.
This is why I am preparing myself for future celebrity encounters but all that matters really are 2 people. My heroes.
1. Kobe Bryant
Why I want to meet him: He’s been my favorite basketball player since 1998, his second year in the NBA. He exemplifies excellence, hard work, determination, drive and longevity. He has overcome a massive scandal to continue to build on an all-time-great career and I have witnessed him grow as a person and leader. I understand that there are many Kobe haters who find it way too easy to take their jabs at him but I identify with him in many mysterious ways.
What I would say in our first encounter: Option 1) “Kobe, you have no idea what you mean to me” (creepy); Option 2) “Kobe, my man! How’s your family? (who says that on their first encounter?); Option 3) “Hey Kobe. I love you.” (there’s no way around this)
What type of relationship I would like to have with him: I’ve always said that I’d like to be his spiritual advisor slash best friend. Plus, I’d love to enter 2-on-2 tournaments with him and ride his coattails to championships. That’s pretty much what Luke Walton does year after year, right?
2. Bono
Why I want to meet him: He’s basically who I want to be “when I grow up.” He’s the front man for one of the world’s greatest rock bands of all time, he uses his large platform to lift up the marginalized and the voiceless, and he is one of the most unassuming examples of Jesus I have ever seen on earth. (Insert judgmental outcries here)
What I would say in our first encounter: Option 1) “Hey Paul!” ; Option 2) “Oh my gosh.” ; Option 3) “I have waited all my life to meet you! Do you have time for a cup of coffee or beer? It’s on me!” (how could he refuse?)
What type of relationship I would like to have with him: It really doesn’t matter. I’ll take any of the following options: Roadie, Gopher, Caddy, Disciple, Driver, or Sunglass Shiner. I would take any chance I get to become his friend and if that sounds pathetic to you, you’re right!
These are 2 of my heroes. Who are yours?
3 Cups of B.S.?
I remember we had a deep discussion in the 8th grade about lying and we debated whether or not there are times when lying is ok. We came to the conclusion that if we were living in Hitler’s Germany and we were hiding our Jewish neighbors, it would be ok to lie if the Nazi soldiers ever came knocking on our door to ask of their whereabouts. This was the only scenario I could remember from our talk that day.
If the good outweighs the bad by a God-sized margin, I’m all for lying; especially if it means that I can save a life.
I wonder if this is what Greg Mortenson’s logic was as he wrote Three Cups of Tea, a New York Times best seller that is now under fire for allegations of falsehood. The controversy about the validity of many of his accounts, including an alleged kidnapping by the Taliban, has stirred a world-wide outrage by all who have read and felt their lives changed by this book.
[Read the CNN article here to get the lowdown]
Mortenson sold over 3 millions copies of the book in 47 different languages worldwide. To say that this book is pretty influential would be like saying Brad Pitt is just ok-looking. This book is a world-wide sensation and Brad Pitt makes it acceptable for heterosexual men to justify their strange feelings with the phrase “man-crush.”
I have not read the book but fortunately, many anecdotes from this book have been shared in our staff meetings by my friend this past month as a way to inspire and move our leadership. Personally, the timing of this scandal couldn’t be more coincidental and peculiar!
As I ponder the ramifications of this controversy, I have developed my own set of FAQs that I consider my Three Cups of B.S:
1. So he lied (allegedly). What’s the big deal? Authors, journalists, and reporters do this all the time!
I’ve honestly thought this. What really is the big deal? I guess the answers are somewhat obvious. If this was an obscure book on the dusty shelves of a dollar bookstore, nobody would care. The fact that over 3 million people purchased and read this book (along with countless other cheapskates who borrowed their friends’ copies) makes this a lie that is hard to swallow and make go-away. The more people buy into your words and leadership, the greater your need for accountability. Let’s take a line from Spiderman and satisfy my point: “With great power comes great responsibility.”
2. Can’t we just start over and call this a work of Fiction? Re-organize this book’s placement on the Dewey Decimal System? It’s still a good book.
That’s what makes this controversy so difficult. So much of what he’s written seems to be true. . . and if it is not, it has to be true now. Or does it? Through the words and accounts in this book, millions were inspired and felt compelled to give to Mortenson’s non-profit. Much-needed schools were built in Pakistan and Afghanistan as a result of the money that was raised. I wonder: if this much good has been done for a group of people that the world had previously chosen to ignore, how could this scenario possibly be bad? The book accomplished its mission did it not? Read on to the next question.
3. What is this REALLY about?
Money. Plain and simple, this is an issue of money. According to the CNN report, in 2009 Mortenson’s organization only used 41% of the $14 million that was raised to actually build and fund the schools. The disbursement of the rest of the funds seems a little dubious. One would also have to wonder if his books would have sold the number it did if it was a work of fiction.
Bottom Line
If this was a controversy about just a few inaccurate stories and details in the book, I’m personally “ok” with it. Not to say that I don’t believe in honesty and integrity in all works of art! I believe that Mortenson’s book accomplished more good than bad–that people were inspired to examine and change their own lifestyles while broadening their scope of the global need is nothing short of a miracle!
I truly believe that Mortenson’s motives were/are good. He discovered a need and he found a way to creatively fill it, using the only thing he had of worth in this regard: his stories from the ground.
Along the way, if the fund-raising became a little too successful for Mortenson to handle and the transparency and integrity in how all of the money was being spent became a lesser priority, this is unfortunate.
That being said, this is a lesson in honesty and openness, a possible debate on how lies have the potential to perform good (and if this is ultimately “ok”), and a possible example of how money corrupts. I say possible because Greg Mortenson is still innocent until proven guilty. We have to give him that much.
Whether this is relevant for our discussion now or not, I want to say for the record: if I was housing a family of Jews in my home as they run from the Nazis, I would lie my butt off to protect this family. In fact, I would do more. Is this how desperately Greg felt the need to assist these families in Afghanistan and Pakistan? Who knows . . .
April 20, 2011 | Categories: Commentary, Culture, Inspiration | Tags: controversy, Greg Mortenson, lies, scandal, Three Cups of Tea | 6 Comments »