My son, the 2 yr old advocate for the poor
Every weekday morning, I take my 2 year-old son, Micah, to school. School has been the place where Micah could satisfy his growing social needs while mommy and daddy get some quiet time for a few hours each day. It’s a win-win situation in every sense.
There is a definite routine to our morning trek. We eat breakfast, get dressed, kiss mommy and baby Isla goodbye and head downstairs with the umbrella stroller in my left hand and Micah rested on my right arm. Once downstairs, we say “buenos dias” and “hasta luego” to our building manager, Juan, and then I strap Micah in the stroller… and away we go!
We then say “hola, buenos dias” to about a dozen people on our way to school. There’s Mari, the street-parking guide along with her husband. There’s Gabriel, Juan, and another friend who sells helium-filled balloons. There’s the 3-4 valet parking attendants at the restaurant across the street. Goyo is the guy who sells “super tortas” in front of the bank and then the rest are random people who take notice of Micah in the stroller and flash a friendly smile on their brisk walk to work.
It takes about 20 minutes to walk to school. I say a few more “hola, buenos dias”s to the teachers and receptionists at the school, kiss Micah, tell him I love him and let the teachers whisk him away.
Now when I pick Micah up from school, the routine is repeated but in reverse. However, this time, there is an old couple on the street who I presume to be of indigenous origin by the language that they speak. It’s difficult for me to give money to the poor when I see them on the same exact part of the street during very particular hours, only to not see them there on holidays and off-hours. It seems a little “iffy” but maybe that’s just me.
In any case, I got tired (or guilty, perhaps?) of ignoring them so one day I decided I would have Micah hand them some money from the stroller. The purpose of this was three-fold: 1) a few measly pesos from a child seems to be a more acceptable offering than from a grown man, 2) it’s the cute thing to do, and 3) life lessons at the age of 2 seems about right. The lady with the cup appreciated our small offering, we all shared a smile and proceeded home. I then affirmed Micah in his willingness to share and told him that this is what we’re supposed to do when we see people in need.
The next day, the indigenous couple was in the same spot. Using my “this is iffy” logic, I decided to give them a smile (nothing more) and go our merry way toward home. Besides, we already gave them money– this can’t be a daily thing, can it? As soon as I passed them, my son yells out, “money, daddy! money!” I stopped the stroller, stooped to his level and asked him, “what do you mean son? You think we should give them money?” He says, “yeah.”
I pulled out my wallet, handed him a few pesos and backed up the stroller so that he could deposit the small gift into the lady’s cup again. Their gratitude was once again, very evident. We smiled and headed home.
The next day, the same thing. It’s become very clear that my 2-year-old son is not going to let me just walk by these people who clearly have a need. What I considered a one-time lesson has now become a daily practice. Even if the teacher doesn’t practice what he preaches on a daily basis, the pupil will not let the opportunities pass. Touche, my son, touche.
My dream for my children would be that they would be the Best Versions of Us x 1000. That’s high-level math right there.
It’s no cliche to say that our children often teach us. They are capable of showing us a way of life that is beautiful, generous, loving, and filled with wonder.
One day, our family will make our way back to the suburbs where the streets are swept daily and the vagabonds are met more on TV than in real life. For now, I am grateful that we live in the City where the tension to give and serve is propelled with a daily opportunity. It’s uncomfortable, it’s trying, and it is a test of what we really believe and practice.
I’m thankful that at age 2, Micah gets it. It’s not rocket science, it’s not a judgment call, it’s not a curriculum you study for weeks with a small group; it is a here and now. “Money, Daddy! Money!” You have money, they don’t. It’s simple, isn’t it? Drop it in their cup and love them in simple, real ways… Duh!
Thanks, buddy. You put your daddy to shame but you also make me unbelievably proud.
How ’bout that? My 2 year-old advocate for the poor, folks.
Osama is Dead. Celebrate good times?
Maybe you’re like me and you first heard about Osama Bin Laden’s death through Facebook, Twitter, or CNN . . . and if you’re really like me, you probably felt a strange sense of relief and retribution. His death felt like good news. Initially.
But maybe you’re like me now and you’re wondering, wait a minute…why is this really good news?
Because the person we say was responsible for the death of thousands on September 11, 2001 is now dead and somehow this makes everything better?
Through his death, will the thousands of lives lost on that horrible day be restored? Easter resurrection style?
Will the lives of the families who lost loved ones be that much better now?
Is this somehow the end of terrorism?
Is the ever-expanding, ever-autonomous Al Qaeda network suddenly going to call it quits now that their fearless leader is gone?
If the answer to all the questions above are “Yes,” then maybe it is time to celebrate.
Unfortunately, I can confidently say that all the answers to the questions are “No.”
As long as this is the case, I don’t know what all this celebration is about. . .
. . . Especially when so many of us talk about and value love, grace, forgiveness, peace, and compassion.
Yes, he did unspeakably wicked things and he needed to be captured and brought to justice.
But at the end of the day, we are celebrating a murder. And it’s just a little unsettling to me.
So, why are you celebrating? Help me understand, will ya?
3 Cups of B.S.?
I remember we had a deep discussion in the 8th grade about lying and we debated whether or not there are times when lying is ok. We came to the conclusion that if we were living in Hitler’s Germany and we were hiding our Jewish neighbors, it would be ok to lie if the Nazi soldiers ever came knocking on our door to ask of their whereabouts. This was the only scenario I could remember from our talk that day.
If the good outweighs the bad by a God-sized margin, I’m all for lying; especially if it means that I can save a life.
I wonder if this is what Greg Mortenson’s logic was as he wrote Three Cups of Tea, a New York Times best seller that is now under fire for allegations of falsehood. The controversy about the validity of many of his accounts, including an alleged kidnapping by the Taliban, has stirred a world-wide outrage by all who have read and felt their lives changed by this book.
[Read the CNN article here to get the lowdown]
Mortenson sold over 3 millions copies of the book in 47 different languages worldwide. To say that this book is pretty influential would be like saying Brad Pitt is just ok-looking. This book is a world-wide sensation and Brad Pitt makes it acceptable for heterosexual men to justify their strange feelings with the phrase “man-crush.”
I have not read the book but fortunately, many anecdotes from this book have been shared in our staff meetings by my friend this past month as a way to inspire and move our leadership. Personally, the timing of this scandal couldn’t be more coincidental and peculiar!
As I ponder the ramifications of this controversy, I have developed my own set of FAQs that I consider my Three Cups of B.S:
1. So he lied (allegedly). What’s the big deal? Authors, journalists, and reporters do this all the time!
I’ve honestly thought this. What really is the big deal? I guess the answers are somewhat obvious. If this was an obscure book on the dusty shelves of a dollar bookstore, nobody would care. The fact that over 3 million people purchased and read this book (along with countless other cheapskates who borrowed their friends’ copies) makes this a lie that is hard to swallow and make go-away. The more people buy into your words and leadership, the greater your need for accountability. Let’s take a line from Spiderman and satisfy my point: “With great power comes great responsibility.”
2. Can’t we just start over and call this a work of Fiction? Re-organize this book’s placement on the Dewey Decimal System? It’s still a good book.
That’s what makes this controversy so difficult. So much of what he’s written seems to be true. . . and if it is not, it has to be true now. Or does it? Through the words and accounts in this book, millions were inspired and felt compelled to give to Mortenson’s non-profit. Much-needed schools were built in Pakistan and Afghanistan as a result of the money that was raised. I wonder: if this much good has been done for a group of people that the world had previously chosen to ignore, how could this scenario possibly be bad? The book accomplished its mission did it not? Read on to the next question.
3. What is this REALLY about?
Money. Plain and simple, this is an issue of money. According to the CNN report, in 2009 Mortenson’s organization only used 41% of the $14 million that was raised to actually build and fund the schools. The disbursement of the rest of the funds seems a little dubious. One would also have to wonder if his books would have sold the number it did if it was a work of fiction.
Bottom Line
If this was a controversy about just a few inaccurate stories and details in the book, I’m personally “ok” with it. Not to say that I don’t believe in honesty and integrity in all works of art! I believe that Mortenson’s book accomplished more good than bad–that people were inspired to examine and change their own lifestyles while broadening their scope of the global need is nothing short of a miracle!
I truly believe that Mortenson’s motives were/are good. He discovered a need and he found a way to creatively fill it, using the only thing he had of worth in this regard: his stories from the ground.
Along the way, if the fund-raising became a little too successful for Mortenson to handle and the transparency and integrity in how all of the money was being spent became a lesser priority, this is unfortunate.
That being said, this is a lesson in honesty and openness, a possible debate on how lies have the potential to perform good (and if this is ultimately “ok”), and a possible example of how money corrupts. I say possible because Greg Mortenson is still innocent until proven guilty. We have to give him that much.
Whether this is relevant for our discussion now or not, I want to say for the record: if I was housing a family of Jews in my home as they run from the Nazis, I would lie my butt off to protect this family. In fact, I would do more. Is this how desperately Greg felt the need to assist these families in Afghanistan and Pakistan? Who knows . . .
This is Not a Christian Blog
This is not a Christian blog.
I think it would be very easy to gear and fashion my posts to fit this mold, but I don’t think we need another “Christian” blog. There’s enough good ones out there anyway!
Some may find this disappointing, especially when you know that I am technically a “missionary” in Mexico City and recall that I was a worship pastor at a pretty amazing church.
If you have been reading my blog and you never knew this, I hope this revelation isn’t shocking or detrimental to our online relationship. Stick around, please! I have more to share. I love you. I need you! You complete me.
I think there are many amazing blogs out there that are more blatantly “Christian” but I just don’t feel like that’s my “calling” as a blogger… or as a person. Call it a conviction?
I’m also sure that there are a lot of great blogs out there written by atheists, agnostics, Jews, Muslims, Hindus and people who are far-removed from any sort of faith background. As for me, I can’t deny or hide the fact that I’m pretty heavily influenced by Jesus. He’s my homie, He’s changed my life.
This blog is neither Christian nor atheist. I write about things that matter to me and hopefully to the society at large. I just write and my values ooze out in the posts. Grace, redemption, love, freedom, justice, humor, and (at times righteous) anger. Christian is who I am, not the agenda I push or the blog I write. I don’t need to slap a label on anything or wear a banner that shows I belong to some sort of club or belief system.
I think it takes a bit of courage as well as discipline to venture out of one’s subculture to intersect with the world at large.
We could use a few more blogs (and people) who are willing to engage people from all walks of life. We need words of love, hope and inspiration to reach far outside of any bubble or barrier we unknowingly (or knowingly) create. This requires writers to choose our words carefully and avoid content and jargon that is merely understood by a few. Code language. Drop it.
This is a challenge that not enough people of faith are choosing to accept. They would rather say what’s “Biblical” without connecting with the world, get a few “amens” (perhaps in the form of a dozen comments) and call it a night. Easy if you ask me.
**It’s ok if you disagree because these are just my opinions, not facts… although I sometimes wish my words became facts. That would be freakin sweet.**
So all that to say, I relish the challenge of writing about things that matter culturally and spiritually, and I love trying to communicate in ways that invites anyone to participate and understand. I want to link the divide between pop-culture and faith, between atheism and “Christianity.” I want to challenge everyone to think deeper, to communicate clearer, to help make this world a better place and become fans of the Los Angeles Lakers. (last part optional)
So whether that’s Christian or not “Christian” enough is besides the point. Call this blog whatever you want! I’m thankful you read it and find it worthwhile.
Maybe you have something to say on this? What scenarios do you see some of these challenges at play in your own lives? And more importantly, do you agree or disagree with me? Because if you disagree with me, you are no longer welcome here… just kidding.
Dear Dad (a letter to Charlie Sheen from the future)
Dear Dad,
This is your son and I’m writing to you from the future using my iPad 27. You think the iPad 2 was cool, wait till you check this baby out; the hologram cornea display is a thing of beauty! They also finally added Flash to the browsing experience after holding out for all those decades. It’s pretty sweet, especially when I want to go retro and check out web sites. You should also know that it’s pretty much a foregone conclusion that Steve Jobs is in fact the anti-Christ… especially because he’s still alive.
I just want to say that despite what many have told me over the years, I still think you were a pretty swell dad. I know we never talked that much or saw each other as much as we would have liked to but I always looked up to you and you were always fun. You helped define what a winner is for me and I live by your words and example to this day.
I came across this feature article about you recently that was a retrospective on the year 2011. I have vague memories of that time… like how mom actually changed my diapers with her own hands before the iChange app changed everything for mothers everywhere. Anyhow, the article mentions that this was the year everything changed for you. I guess you got fired from a TV job that paid you $2 million per episode (funny how that was a lot of money back then!) and then you started this crazy country-wide, sold-out tour shortly after. This was not before you became one of the fastest twitter users to reach 3 million followers and the nation became obsessed with all things Charlie Sheen. You were a major star! So proud of you, dad!
The article also mentions that you were America’s favorite train wreck in 2011. What is that all about? Your “years of drug use and soliciting prostitutes caught up” to you, as well as the “many instances of violence and spousal abuse.” Apparently you were spinning out of control and the world was simply waiting for you to “crash and burn (or die?) so that they could move on to the next disaster in a body.”
Either I forgot about all of this or I just never knew. Totally crazy to think that you ever went through that or that you were ever that guy.
I don’t know what exactly happened but the article mentions that your life made a dramatic turn for the best in the next few years. I think this is when you made a conscious decision to lay low and stay out of the public spotlight for a while. Mom tells me that you received help by admitting to her you had a problem and enlisting in a variety of detox and counseling programs. Maybe this is when I started to see you around a little bit more along with the many new uncles that you started hanging with. They were super cool guys and I remember thinking that you seemed different (in good ways) after you met them.
I guess you were a mess back then but the only version of you I remember is the one that showed up at the moments that mattered to me– including my high school graduation when you told me you loved me and that you were proud of me. I know you were a busy guy and you had to spend time with my other brothers and sisters that lived in different cities with their moms but I saw that you were trying and I appreciated that a ton. I see now how rare a loving father is and I’m forever grateful that you were around when it counted.
I love what you stood for in your later years as an actor and activist. You were quite the motivational speaker and you helped “screw-ups” get back on their feet. You showed me that mistakes are ok as long as you work towards righting the wrongs. You showed me that second chances are precious but available to anyone who is wiling to give life another fair go.
Just wanted to write you to tell you I love you and that I miss you. Wish you were still around.
It’s crazy but I just met my first grand-kid the other day. His name is David Carlos Estevez and he has your eyes.
You’ll be proud to know that in the midst of my own hang-ups and let-downs, I think I turned out okay and I’m someone you’d probably call a “winner.” Thanks, dad.
Love,
Your son
First World Problems
Last week, I came across this brilliant post over at reddit.com on First World Problems– a phrase I love because I feel it’s a euphemism for “complaints that make us sound like dumb, spoiled brats.”
According to the site:
If it’s a problem you can only have if you have money, we’ll feel bad for you for having the problem, and then feel guilty for having enough money to have the problem.
Let me give you some examples in case you’re against clicking on links:
“My HD TV takes too long to turn on.”
“The 3G connection on my iPad 2 was spotty on the train so I had to pause my Netflix movie for 2 minutes.”
“Ran out of brewed coffee. Had to make myself instant.”
“My iPhone won’t let me upload pictures directly to Facebook right now. So frustrating!”
“I ordered my steak medium rare and this is clearly medium.”
“Google chrome isn’t working so I had to use Safari to check my email.”
“The water pressure in my shower dropped last night so I had to draw myself a bath instead. It was scalding hot. And the jets wouldn’t work.”
I find these to be hilarious but sadly true. I don’t know about you but I am reminded of how incredibly blessed and rich I am, especially in comparison to some of the real problems and hardships that most of the world have to deal with. Of course, most of us get that “First World Problems” are not actually problems at all. So then the question becomes, how do we turn these so-called “issues and problems” into a grander perspective that allows us to see and respond to the needs around us?
I can laugh now but it’s because I have made similar complaints in the past, and will probably continue to moan about other so-called problems that my brothers in Third World areas would roll their eyes at.
What about you? What are some common “First World Problems” that you run into regularly?
Tiny Sparkles in a Sea of Sadness
The news reports of the devastation in Japan keep pouring in and continue to flood media outlets and social media platforms of all kinds.
I was reminded this week of how much we need to to share in the Japanese sadness while valuing and honoring life, even as we hear of such mind-numbing numbers, statistics and horror stories.
However, in the midst of such darkness and sorrow, there are beautiful things taking place. Incredible accounts of valor and sacrifice that are as heart-wrenching as they are inspiring. Amazing miracles in a time when nothing good seems to be happening. Tiny sparkles in a sea of sadness.
Did you hear about the four-month old baby who was found virtually unscathed, days after she was snatched from her parents’ grasp by the tsunami?
Or consider the story of the 60 year old man and 70 year old woman, both of whom have separate accounts of how they survived when the rest of their village was swept away completely. The man survived by clinging on to his floating roof top for 2 whole days. (Read about all three accounts here)
Perhaps the most heroic and inspiring occurrence would be that of the 50 workers at a nuclear plant (Fukushima Daiichi) who have chosen to remain (while 800 of their peers had been evacuated), in order to work towards preventing a meltdown and the ensuing massive loss of life that would inevitably follow. They know fully well that this could potentially be a suicide mission yet they are putting their lives on the line for their country. They are choosing this. Real-life heroes in real-time.
There is no greater love than when we lay our lives down for our friends.
Some of us may have heard this before and now we are actually seeing it.
Telling these stories of miracles and sacrifice will not bring the thousands we have lost back to life. This is a fact. But we bring light into darkness when we highlight the moments of intense beauty and selflessness that surface in the face of the most horrible tragedies. We saw it in catastrophes like 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina in the U.S., and now we see it in Japan.
Today, I am encouraged because I am reminded that miracles happen every day and there is hope within the madness. Don’t get me wrong. We mourn the immeasurable loss and we validate the immense sorrow with our deepest of sympathies. Let’s do that.
But let’s also recognize beauty when it surfaces and let it sparkle and shine.
What are some other stories of beauty, miracles and sacrifice in Japan you’re seeing in the news feed today? Please post the links below in the comments so that we can all share in these sparkles of light!
For Whom the Bell Trolls
**I am on a quest to blog every day (Monday-Friday) for the next 40 days and I am suddenly feeling flooded with things to talk about. This is both a good and bad thing.**
Today, we will talk a little bit about what not to say in the face of catastrophic human tragedy.
The original video has been taken down and she has since deleted her account, but “TamTamPamela” single-handedly managed to cause a YouTube firestorm a couple days ago with her video proclaiming that the earthquake in Japan was God’s way of turning atheists into believers. “God is SO GOOD!” she exclaimed. It was pure religious lunacy and helped further the notion that perhaps some people have a hard time believing in God because His followers are so full of [expletive]. I was pissed and if you saw the video, you were pissed too.
But hold on! There’s more! In a bizarre plot twist, it seems as if TamTamPamela recorded the video on purpose for the purpose of pissing people off. What?!
Apparently, she is a TROLL, a Web 2.0 term to mean someone who posts content on forums and blogs in order to shake things up and rile people up. I can’t believe there is a term for this type of idiocy. Consider me enlightened… and disgusted.
This is a repost of her original video:
and here is her confession of her “Trolling”:
I’m at a loss for words. Of all the things that people could say to elicit a reaction, why would anyone choose this?
Here’s the scary thing: the video may or may not have been a trolling effort but there are many, many, many people out there who believe the very things that TamTamPamela claimed to be satirizing. Yes, people believe that God kills upwards of 10,000 people in partnership with Mother Nature in order to make believers out of atheists and to judge the evil within a country.
That’s not the God I know.
I think what we learn from TamTamPamela (whether she’s a troll, a loon, a person in need of love, or all of the above) is that:
1) These sorts of opinions really do exist and they are unfortunate, destructive and unacceptable.
2) We all have a desire to be noticed at times but the lengths to which we go in order to achieve this is shameful and often times, unbelievably offensive.
3) There are certain things you don’t judge or joke about. You just don’t. A) My momma, B) A disability, C) A tragedy.
4) We all have our blind spots and errors in judgment. Hers just happened to involve 10,000+ dead and the millions who are mourning and trying to make sense of it all.
5) There is grace for idiots and trolls alike.
So while I can cast no stones due to my own mistakes and errors in judgment, I do want to say that this was dumb. Really dumb. Fa’ real.
What do you say?
On Kind Words
Hey Everybody,
It’s been forever and a day since my last post. This blog is not dead. It just woke up from hibernation like a bear in winter. A very long, cold winter. A very long, cold winter in Antarctica. Which is pretty much winter all year long. So now we’re moving out of Antarctica and moving into Southern California. Which is where I live now. . . shall I go on?
Just a quick thought about kind words.
Funerals are sad, we can all agree on that right? You know what makes funerals doubly sad? The fact that the kind words and eulogies given will never be heard by the person who passed away. The tragedy of “I never got a chance to say . . . ” is an absolute killer.
Going-away parties, last-day-at-work parties, etc are also pretty sad. A lot of “I have always wanted to tell you this but … ” and “I wish we got to know each other…” or “I think you’re super hot” are kind words that almost sting when you consider the possibility that they might have meant a lot more had they been shared before you ever mentioned leaving! (Side note: I also feel incredibly awkward when some of the parting words get a little out of hand. Things like, “You were always my favorite” or “You single-handedly changed my life forever” or “You complete me” are never as much fun to hear when they feel like desperate euphemisms for “Sorry I never gave you the time of day. Like ever.” Just for the record, I have never heard these words said to me before so no harm done. Phew!)
It’s unfortunate that we often save our kindest, best words for when it is almost (or is) too late. There’s no harm in looking at the people who mean something to you square in the eye once in a while to let them know that they freakin’ rock. I think this is one of many things we could do right away to make this world a better place.
So tell me: What are some “parting words” you heard that made you feel ridiculous? On the converse, what are some in-the-moment-when-it-matters words you heard that totally breathed new life into you?
April 9, 2012 | Categories: Commentary, Culture, Inspiration | Tags: compliments, eulogy, funeral, going away, kind words, now | 2 Comments »