when heroes fall
my heart has been heavy these days. at the risk of sounding way too open and vulnerable in a much too public arena such as this, these are some of the things i’m wrestling and dealing with:
- my neighbors upstairs have 3 kids who run around and play in their apartment like it was Chuck E Cheese. despite our continual pleas for peace and quiet– including one episode where I actually ran up and pounded on their door (they refused to open their door to talk), they have been testing our every last nerve. we have a 7 month old who still needs to sleep throughout the day so this adds to the stress. at any rate, the good news is that the management has agreed to disallow a renewal of their lease but August 31 couldn’t come any sooner.
- i am tapping into my already-miniscule and quickly-depleting savings account to help pay for our rent this month, prompting the serious need for me to pick up a second job or for my wife to start working while caring for our kid– neither of which are fun options for us. ( record execs, if you are reading this, please give my music a chance. I promise I sound better than my vimeo clips show– i need to provide for my family.)
- i am contemplating the fragility of life in light of what took place last week with multiple celebrity deaths– MJ, Farrah, Ed McMahon and even Billy Mays, the consummate infomercial pitchman. Late night TV will never be the same again.
- of course it’s sad that we make a bigger deal out of celebrity deaths than the millions that die in poorer countries due to war as well as lack of food, shelter and vaccines. but let’s talk about that one some other time…
- i am realizing how different my life is now at this stage of life and how the relationships around me are changing.
- i am dealing with the reality of heartache and sadness when a hero falls.
why it’s great to be ordinary
There is a big difference between being ordinary and being mediocre. Ordinary is a state of being. Mediocrity is a choice. I just gave you my thesis at the very start of this post. Chew on that and enjoy.
My focus today, however, is on the state of being ordinary. You can consider me an expert on being ordinary. Let me explain why:
I spent nearly 2 years in Bangkok, Thailand with my new wife (right after our wedding) and one of the things I was faced with in my time there was my “darkest night of the soul”. Ever have one of those? If you haven’t yet, hate to break it to you but you’re due for one.
In my darkest night, I was faced with this one reality that nearly crippled me and discredited all of my efforts and so-called accomplishments in my short 20-something years of life:
I’m so completely, utterly, and painfully ORDINARY
I mourned the thought that in my deepest core, I was extremely plain and normal. Regardless of the talents and (more…)
my greatest accomplishment to date
this is me and my son, Micah David Kim. He is 6 months old right now and I couldn’t be a prouder father. I refer to him as my CBITW, an acronym I made up just for him that stands for “Cutest Boy in the World”. I still can’t believe that he’s my son and somehow, the combination of Sadie’s beauty and my unmatched charm (you know!) produced this masterpiece. I assure you the picture above is real; my dad used to do this to me and my brother when we were younger and when Micah flexed his legs in my grasp and this photo was captured, it was a surreal moment where past, present and future all came together at once.
While Micah was still in the womb, Sadie and I were at a conference where Tony Campolo was the speaker and there was a moment where Tony was sharing how from when he was very young, his mother would tell him that he would live to serve the poor. I got chills at that moment because as much as I want Micah to be a dominant shooting-guard in the NBA and (more…)
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